after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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