So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
