On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
