don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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