I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
