you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
