If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
