She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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