spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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