we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
