Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
