# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
