I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
