My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
