Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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