How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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