Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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