Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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