I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
