I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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