nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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