You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
