Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
