Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
