I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
