i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
