I showed him my bush... on skype.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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