Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
