Small penises have feelings too.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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