His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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