just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
