had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
