too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
