That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
