this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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