I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
