I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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