Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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