yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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