i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He shit in the fireplace
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
