Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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