What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
