do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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