Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
