my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
