I am midnight drunk by noon
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
