you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
