do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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