hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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