carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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