Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
