Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
