Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
